A newly minted term – pornosexual – is being used by some to describe those whose sexual preferences lie more strongly with porn than with actual sex. What is ‘pornosexuality’ and what does it have to do with porn addiction?
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If you prefer watching porn over having sex with a human, then according to some sources, you could classify yourself as a ‘pornosexual’. But while the name is catchy, identifying as a pornosexual could mean that you have a porn addiction – a subcategory of sex addiction that can cause harmful consequences in your life and the lives of those close to you.
What is Pornosexuality?
A pornosexual is defined as ‘a person whose sexual orientation is linked solely to porn.’ But calling it a sexual orientation might be a stretch, as pornosexuality can’t be compared to identifying as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or any other type of sexuality along the LGBTQ+ spectrum, because pornosexuality doesn’t actually involve engaging with another human being. Instead, it’s a choice to avoid human sexual contact completely, regardless of gender, and seek arousal solely through the viewing of pornography. In fact, some consider porn addiction to be unrelated to sex addiction, more closely resembling gaming addiction.
This is Your Brain on Porn
Porn addiction is a type of behavioural or process addiction. This means that when a person engages in a particular behaviour (in this case, watching porn) the brain’s reward system reacts in a similar way to that of someone who’s using drugs or alcohol. So if you enjoy watching porn, each time you turn it on, dopamine is released into the brain. But the brain gets used to certain behaviours (and substances), so just as an alcoholic needs to drink more and more alcohol to get the same feeling, so too does a porn addict need to watch more and more porn (and often more elaborate porn) to get that same ‘feel good’ effect.
Most porn addicts begin to find that real sex no longer satisfies them. Actor Terry Crews opened up about his porn addiction in 2016, saying:
‘My issue with pornography is that it changes the way you think about people. People become objects. People become body parts. They become things to be used rather than people to be loved.’
In other words, the ability to have an intimate, loving sexual relationship with another person is diminished. And that’s where the line between being a ‘pornosexual’ and being a ‘porn addict’ gets pretty blurry.
Porn Use and Intimacy Disorder
Similar to porn addiction, those who consider themselves pornosexuals have often experienced some type of trauma related to intimacy. Whether it comes from having parents who did not give them the intimacy they needed growing up, or from past relationships where they were hurt on a deep emotional level by their partners, sexual gratification derived from porn is emotionally safe when compared to engaging with real people. Watching porn offers a way to get sexual pleasure without having to be vulnerable at the hands of other people by exchanging emotions, feelings and of course – your physical body.
Watching pornography in and of itself is definitely not a bad thing. Used in moderation porn can be a great sexual release on your own, and it can also help couples to explore their own sexualities, tightening the bond they already share. But when a person watches porn regularly, it can begin to have negative effects on their life. When these negative consequences begin occurring, it may suggest signs of porn addiction.
6 Signs of Porn Addiction
Whether you classify yourself as a pornosexual, or simply enjoy watching porn, you may have crossed the line into porn addiction if you notice one or more of the following symptoms:
1. Decreased or no ability to become aroused outside of watching porn
It is not uncommon for those who watch a lot of porn to be unable to achieve arousal when they are with a physical partner.
2. Watching porn more and more frequently
If you find yourself absorbed in pornography for half an hour, a couple times per week, you likely have nothing to worry about. But if you start to notice that hours or even days start flying by while you’re engaged, you should try cutting back.
3. Inability to cut back on time spent watching
If you notice that you are watching more and more porn and try to cut back without success, this is a key sign that you on a trouble path towards addiction.
4. Neglecting work, school or social engagements to watch porn
When watching porn becomes more important than hanging out with your friends, or getting that project finished, you may have crossed the line.
5. Enjoying increasingly bizarre content
Drug and alcohol addicts will need increasingly more or stronger doses of their drug. This tolerance-building phenomenon shows up in porn addiction when you find that you only become aroused by content that’s increasingly further from ‘normal sex’.
6. Loss of interest in sex
One of the main indicators of porn addiction is an actual lack of desire for real sex.
How do You Know if You’re Addicted to Porn?
The best way to fully understand if your own porn use is problematic is to speak to a specialist. At The Cabin Chiang Mai, we offer a porn addiction treatment programme involving the 3 Circles, our own unique treatment approach that is highly effective in dealing with process addictions such as porn addiction. Call us today to see how we can help you.
