If you’re a parent whose son or daughter is struggling with alcoholism, we understand why you’re concerned.

Alcoholism is a serious condition that can ruin your child’s health and future. At the very least, it puts enormous emotional strain on you and your family.

This guide is for parents who believe their child is struggling with addiction and want to know what to do.

How to Help an Alcoholic Son or Daughter 

If you’re a parent whose son or daughter is struggling with alcoholism, we understand why you’re concerned.

Alcoholism is a serious condition that can ruin your child’s health and future. At the very least, it puts enormous emotional strain on you and your family.

This guide is for parents who believe their child is struggling with addiction and want to know what to do. 

We’ll focus on the following topics: 

• What alcoholism is 
• The signs that your child might be addicted
• How to deal with an alcoholic son or daughter (including what to do and not to do)
• Practical steps that support recovery
• Available addiction treatment options

Our substance abuse specialists are going to walk you through how to help your child take their life back, including practical tips for getting them help and keeping them sober.

Read on to learn how you can intervene in ways that are firm, effective, and grounded in care.

What is Alcoholism? 

Alcoholism, or alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a common substance use disorder marked by a compulsion to drink, an inability to control your intake, and negative consequences in your daily life. People with AUD often experience alcohol withdrawal when not drinking as well.

People with this condition cannot stop drinking despite wanting to and need to drink increasing amounts of alcohol just to get the same effects. It’s a progressive disease, meaning it gets worse as time goes on. And it often begins with occasional drinking to unwind, manage stress, or fit in socially. 

AUD can range from mild, where someone drinks more than intended but still functions, to severe, where alcohol disrupts other areas of life, like work, school, health, and relationships. 

As a parent, you may be worried that you have somehow “caused your child’s” alcoholism. We can assure you that that’s most likely not the case. SUDs are an extremely complex disease.

Alcoholism is due to a mix of internal and external factors. No two cases are the same, and it can be a combination of two or more factors that cause it (we find that it’s usually many more than that).

It can be genetic, where family members have suffered the same condition. And it can also develop due to social or environmental factors. Some develop it because of peer pressure, early alcohol exposure, or as a way to escape trauma and emotional distress. A paper from Alcohol Research titled Social and Cultural Contexts of Alcohol Use showed that friends and family strongly influence how adolescents develop drinking habits.

While you might think AUD comes from poor choices or a lack of discipline, that’s not the case. It’s a disease that changes brain functions, especially in areas responsible for impulse control, judgement, and reward. Understanding this can change how you approach your child’s behaviour and give them the necessary care. 

How Can I Know if My Child is Addicted to Alcohol?

Frequent drinking, secretive behaviour, sudden mood changes, and withdrawal from school or family life are some of the early signs of alcohol addiction (or other forms of drug abuse) in teens. However, alcoholism is a chronic condition. It builds gradually, and sometimes symptoms stay hidden until it becomes severe. You must be vigilant at all times.

If you suspect that your child may be struggling with AUD, pay careful attention to their mood, social circle, and performance at school.

However, you need to be aware that not all teens display outward signs of their disease.

Many teens can still attend school, socialise, attend family gatherings, and act normally, but their negative relationship with alcohol may be growing in private.

The issue is more common than most parents think. A 2023 federal report from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) found that 3.3 million adolescents between the ages of 12 and 20 engaged in binge drinking within the past month. That’s nearly one in every twelve in this age group.

If you’re worried your child may be dealing with a drinking problem, these specific indicators can help you decide when it’s time to seek professional help: 

• Sudden mood changes: Alcohol affects the brain’s chemistry. Watch for irritability, sadness, or emotional outbursts that seem out of place or come on without warning.
• Secrecy and lying: Are they avoiding your questions, lying about where they’ve been, or becoming defensive when you bring up drinking? They may be trying to hide their alcohol use.
• Drop in school performance: Missing classes, skipping assignments, or failing grades are all red flags, especially when your child used to do well in school.
• Neglecting responsibilities: You may notice chores being ignored, commitments broken, or general apathy toward things they once cared about.
• Physical signs: Do you often see them with red or watery eyes, a flushed face, or droopy eyelids? These are some clear signs of recent (and repeated) alcohol intake. 
• Withdrawing from family: Spending more time alone, spending more time drinking than with you or their friends, staying locked in their room, or avoiding conversation can signal that they’re hiding a problem.
• Asking for money without reason: Repeatedly asking for cash without a clear explanation, or money going missing around the house, can be linked to alcohol purchases.

If you’re concerned about your child’s drinking, please contact your local alcohol addiction treatment centre for guidance. At the very least, contact a support group such as AA. If you’re unsure of what to do, contact our clinic, and we can point you to where to get help.

7 Ways You Can Help Your Child

Alcohol addiction in teens can quickly take over every part of their lives and destroy their academic life, personal life, and future.

The following steps are 7 ways you can help your alcoholic son or daughter recover from addiction: 

1. Set Healthy Boundaries

The first thing you need to do is to set boundaries for your child and cease any and all enabling behaviours (tell other family members to stop enabling as well).

And remember, boundaries are beneficial rules and not punishments. They help you define what’s allowed and not for your family’s safety. 

We understand that your instinct as a parent is to protect your child. You can care deeply while still requiring accountability. That’s what effective boundaries are for.

Boundaries are to help them. NOT punish them.

Start by listing some “house rules” that focus on structure, respect, and accountability. A 2015 study published in the National Library of Medicine entitled “Enhanced brain susceptibility to negative stimuli in adolescents: ERP evidence shows that adolescents are more emotionally sensitive to negative stimuli than adults.” Avoid harsh words, threats, or shame-based rules, as they can trigger defensiveness and affect relationships. 

Here are healthy boundaries you can set:

• Keep the home alcohol- and drug-free
• Financial help is only given to support recovery from their alcohol problem
• Car use is allowed only if they’re sober and responsible
• All communication needs to stay calm and respectful

Once you’ve written your rules, communicate them to everyone involved. Be calm but firm so your child will take them seriously. 

2. Avoid Enabling Behaviours

Enabling is when you allow your child’s addiction to continue through behaviours that support their disease rather than stop it. Common enabling behaviours include making excuses for them and giving them money (which goes to supporting their drug use).

These actions are not always obvious and may be disguised as love, protection, or “just helping out. ” You might think you’re helping them, but, over time, you’re making it easier for the addiction to continue and harder for your child to change. 

Instead of covering up their mistakes, making excuses, or stepping in to fix their problem, here’s what you can do: 

• Let their actions lead to real consequences: If your child misses work, loses money, or faces legal trouble, don’t intervene. Discomfort is what forces change. This is often the impetus they need to begin the recovery process.
• Set clear limits on your availability: If your child calls while intoxicated or shows up demanding help, end the interaction. Keep contact limited to when they are sober and willing to engage responsibly.
• Redirect your focus: Spend your time and energy on things you can control, such as your overall health, work, and emotional stability. You can’t fight the addiction for them.

3. Encourage Them to Get Help for Mental Health

Mental health issues like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD often drive addiction. Alcohol becomes a coping mechanism (as it dulls the pain and feelings for a while), but the relief it gives doesn’t last. 

In the addiction and recovery community, we have a saying: addicts are self-medicating an undiagnosed issue.

We often see cases where alcohol use started as a way to manage untreated emotional distress. At first it works, until it becomes a problem.

Teens with anxiety may drink to get through social situations. At the same time, some turn to alcohol to escape intrusive memories or extreme sadness (PTSD and depression are two common causes of AUD).

Encourage your child to speak to a mental health professional if you suspect that they’re drinking to manage stress, trauma, or emotional pain. Offer to help them book an appointment, talk to their doctor, or contact a counsellor. 

What matters is making them feel supported. Avoid forcing or threatening them, as that would make the situation worse. Say something like, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. Would you be willing to talk to someone about it?”

The way you treat them could make a big difference on whether or not they decide to enter treatment. Let’s cover that in the next section.

4. Be Empathetic

We recommend you be as empathetic as possible when discussing your feelings. Do not attack them, and do not speak negatively.

If your child feels attacked, blamed, or judged, they will likely shut down or deny everything. This is extremely common when dealing with addiction. Approaching with empathy and care rather than being confrontational will help avoid that negative reaction and lead to better outcomes. 

Here’s how to apply empathy in real conversations:

• Pick the right moment: Timing affects how your child hears you. Bring it up when things are calm and not during an argument or right after a crisis. 
• Speak in observations, not accusations: Say, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately,” instead of “You’ve changed.” This focuses on facts, not blame, and makes it easier for them to listen.
• Ask one clear question at a time: Avoid piling on or interrogating. A simple question like, “How are things really going for you?” invites a response without pressure.
• Don’t interrupt, even when you disagree: Let them finish what they’re trying to say. You don’t need to agree with everything, but they need to feel heard.
• Reflect what you’ve heard: Say, “So you’ve been feeling overwhelmed,” rather than shifting the topic. This shows you’re paying attention and not just waiting to respond.
• Avoid diagnosing or lecturing: You’re not there to pinpoint what’s wrong but to observe what’s happening and suggest a way to help. 

5. Educate Yourself on Alcoholism

If you want to support your child, you need to understand their situation. Learning how alcohol use disorder develops, what treatment involves, and what recovery looks like will help you respond better to the problem. 

Here are three effective ways to educate yourself:

• Read from trusted sources: Stick to sites that end in .gov, .edu, or .org, including the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). These resources offer clear, evidence-based information on alcohol use. 
• Watch real recovery stories: Hearing directly from people’s journeys in recovery helps you understand the emotional side of addiction. It gives you a better sense of your child’s feelings, especially about thoughts they can’t verbalise. 
• Join a support group: Al-Anon and other family-focused programmes welcome parents who want to listen, learn, and connect. You can learn practical advice and get emotional support when you join. 

6. Take Them to Group Meetings

AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) are two of the most widely used peer support programs for addiction recovery. Both follow a 12-step framework and offer free, community-based meetings where individuals can talk, listen, and learn from others facing similar struggles. 

AA focuses specifically on alcohol use. It introduces the idea that recovery involves surrendering to a higher power, however the individual defines it. NA is broader and encompasses all mind-altering drugs (including alcohol). It welcomes anyone with substance-related issues.

We often recommend group meetings as part of a recovery plan. Hearing real stories from real people is more impactful for many teens than lectures or warnings. In fact, those who attend peer support groups like AA or NA have much better rates of sobriety than those that don’t.

7. Encourage Them to Get Professional Treatment

The best thing you can do for your alcoholic child is get them professional help.

Addiction is a disease that requires proper treatment. Without professional help, the drinking cycle could repeat for years. At the very least, getting professional help will help your son or daughter build positive habits that will serve as the foundation of their sobriety. Investing in clinical treatment gives your child the structure, tools, and support they need to break AUD. 

Behavioural therapies and medications are the recommended first-line treatments for AUD. Therapy (for example, family therapy) helps your child identify triggers, manage stress, and build healthier coping habits. Doctors may also prescribe medications to reduce cravings or prevent relapse during difficult times.

If your child is willing to consider help, please listen. Offer to contact a treatment provider, book an appointment, or go with them to the first visit. 

Key Mistakes to Avoid 

When your child is struggling with alcohol addiction, some of the most damaging mistakes come from inaction or doing the wrong things (even with good intentions).

Here are the most common mistakes our clinical team sees families making in dealing with alcoholism in young people:

• Underestimating triggers: Drinking rarely happens in isolation. If you ignore the stress, social pressure, or emotional pain behind the behaviour, the addiction will keep resurfacing.
• Neglecting your support system: Self-care is one of the most important aspects of staying sober. That goes for you AND your loved one struggling with addiction. Whether it’s a therapist, a support group, or other parents facing similar struggles, ensure you have people you can speak to honestly.
• Setting unrealistic expectations: Recovery doesn’t follow a straight line. Expecting your child to “bounce back” after a single treatment or detox will only leave you frustrated. Progress is slow, and relapse is common.
• Ignoring emotional warning signs: If your child withdraws, becomes irritable, or shows signs of anxiety or depression, don’t write it off as typical teenage behaviour. Emotional distress is often what drives the addiction in the first place.
• Delaying professional help: Don’t wait until your child hits rock bottom. If you already see a pattern, we suggest you seek help immediately. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. 

What Treatments Are Available?

Alcohol addiction requires structured medical care. Depending on the condition and readiness to change, these are the main treatment options available for your child: 

Detox

Detox is the first step in treating alcohol addiction. It involves safely removing alcohol from your child’s system under medical supervision. If they are experiencing severe or even life-threatening physical withdrawals, get them to a treatment centre immediately.

Outpatient

Outpatient treatment allows your child to receive care without living at a facility. This option works best for teens with mild to moderate alcohol use disorder who are medically stable and able to commit to a structured schedule. Programs typically include individual therapy, group counselling, medical check-ins, and relapse prevention sessions. One of the best things about outpatient treatment for teens is that they can get help without missing school or needing to go to an expensive treatment facility.

Inpatient

Inpatient treatment is a form of addiction treatment where your child attends a live-in facility that provides 24-hour supervision in a residential setting. Your child lives on-site for several weeks or months, depending on their condition, and follows a full schedule of medical care, therapy, and recovery-focused activities. This environment removes access to alcohol and limits outside distractions, which is essential for those with severe addiction or co-occurring mental health issues.

How The Cabin Can Help Families Struggling With Addiction

We know how difficult addiction can be for families. It tears them apart from the inside. No matter how much love and support you give, the situation doesn’t get any better.

We want you to know that help is just a phone call away. Call our confidential helpline. It’s free.

We offer support to families struggling with alcoholism in any way we can. At the very least, we can walk you through your options, help you speak to an insurance provider, or help you choose a treatment plan. We want you to get help even if it’s not at our clinic.

If residential treatment seems like the better option, we are Asia’s most respected and longest-running rehabilitation clinic. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help your son or daughter get their life back on track.