Off the ‘Pink Cloud’ and into Reality
Eight months into my new life of sobriety and I have stepped off the ‘pink cloud’ and into reality. For the first time since my childhood I am beginning to feel real emotions, both positive and negative, without the need to self-medicate or celebrate with alcohol. It’s a new experience and one that is both gratifying and sometimes a bit scary.
I am quite certain that I would not be capable of handling these emotions without the support of the AA fellowship. Regular meetings here in Kuala Lumpur, contact with my sponsor, daily prayer and meditation and applying myself to progress with the steps keep me sane – sometimes it is not easy to keep the discipline and whenever I have tried to ‘go it alone’ I have noticed that my new found sense of serenity disappears and I am left with feelings of emptiness and irritation – a dangerous place to be. Having said that, not only have I found a wonderful group of people in the fellowship but I have been going about my usual life with a new sense of purpose and determination. I recently spent a week with a great friend from London who is a successful wine merchant. We grew up together in the London wine trade and whilst I became alcoholic he did not. Spending a week together with me not drinking would have been unthinkable a year ago, however this time round we enjoyed each other’s company more than I can ever remember and whilst he was able to enjoy a civilized glass or two I had no feelings of regret or cravings – that is in its self a miracle for which I am truly grateful.
Once again, I have enjoyed going to meetings whilst travelling – it never ceases to amaze me how welcoming and encouraging my fellow alcoholics are wherever I go. One of the more unusual meetings I attended recently was in San Sebastien in the Spanish Basque country – two Irish alcoholics, two English alcoholics and a Spanish alcoholic – it sounds like the prelude to a bad joke but it was a great meeting!
The recovery scene here KL is going from strength to strength with increasing numbers of Cabin alumni actively participating in both NA and AA groups, there is even talk of a ‘Cabin old boys and girls’ group being formed!
Wishing everyone at the Cabin a very Happy Christmas and a joyous and fulfilling New Year – I could never have got this far without you – so a very Big Thank You to you all.