Alumni Update: Hi I’m Lian and I am a grateful, recovering Alcoholic!
I arrived at The Cabin on 10th July 2014, broken, scared and desperate. After 32 years of drinking and leaving all kinds of debris in my wake I had finally hit my rock bottom and desperately needed help
I could tell you that I searched for hours on the internet for the best rehab centre, but that would be a lie, I was in such a bad way I actually contacted the first rehab centre that popped up – The Cabin) and fortunately I hit pay day.
From the moment I walked in I felt welcome and safe. At first I started doubting that I should be there (denial)…”I wasn’t as bad as him, I didn’t do things like she did” and when I first looked at the 12 Steps, the word GOD was everywhere – being an Atheist I just wanted to turn around and run, but with the help of all the staff and the other clients it didn’t take me long to accept I was in the right place. For the next 6 weeks I did what I was asked and needed to do to get well again. It wasn’t always easy, sometimes it felt like the most difficult thing I had ever done, but I persevered, constantly reminding myself how difficult and unmanageable my life had become whilst drinking. On the 20th August 2014 it was time to leave, I had to go out into the big wide world, be a grown up and start living my life without Alcohol. I was ready! With mixed feelings…sadness (leaving staff and friends in The Cabin) some trepidation, excitement and an eagerness that I had not felt for years, I returned home and started working the programme.
I have now been sober for over 4 months and feeling very positive. My life has already improved tenfold. I am capable now of being honest with myself and others. I have come to realise that I cannot control everything and it definitely feels so much better living in the moment and not wallowing in self-pity, those capabilities in themselves make my life so much easier.
Working the programme with people who have the same illness is essential for me, I know I CANNOT do this on my own, nor do I want to. There are no illusions that I am cured as I know there is no cure for what I have. I still have crazy, messed up conversations in my head and still find that I beat myself up with that muddy stick, especially when I am being lazy and not following the programme properly. I am AWARE of these imperfections creeping in and deal with them; I can do this because of what I have been taught by the staff in The Cabin and the other like-minded people I am working with.
I still wake up in a morning in some disbelief as to how much my life has improved in such a short period of time, this is due to all the support I have, (the staff at The Cabin and former clients – now friends who I converse with on a daily basis), my sponsor and the others in the programme, I even have support from people who do not suffer with this disease. I am grateful to every one of them.
By writing this article I am hoping that I can help someone else who is in the same situation NOW as I was several months ago. With a little work and lots of help life really can be wonderful again!