Developing and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

It is important for anyone after rehab, during the beginning stages of recovery from an addiction, to develop healthy relationships. These relationships may be with new sober friends and regained family members. Healthy relationships help to develop and maintain a positive outlook on the recovering addict’s life, as well as be able to support them in any tough situations.

Avoiding Friends from the Past after Rehab

Most recovering addicts learn at rehab that they will need to find new people to hang out with in order to maintain a sober life. This is because many recovering addict’s friends are also addicts. Alcohol or drugs may have been the only thing that they had in common; when one drank or got high, the others would follow. These friendships may have been very pressuring; therefore, quitting and getting into rehab may have been nearly impossible. These friendships can be ‘toxic’ to any recovering addict’s mind and body.

In order to maintain a sober recovery after rehab, a person must find new friends and develop healthy relationships. These friends should be clean and sober. They may be found at meetings, support groups, or other sober activities. Being able to build new healthy relationships with sober people can give the recovering addict support and creates less temptation to drink or use.

Using Friends Most be Avoided During Recovery

Partners and Family That are Also Addicts

If a recovering addict has a close family member that also has an addiction it would be in their best interest for both to go to rehab and get treatment. If both do not get treatment, it is advised for the one out of rehab to not go around the other; especially in early recovery. This may seem unavoidable to some, it must be done to develop a new healthy life.

It is recommended for long term partners or spouses to both get treatment at a rehab simultaneously if both suffer from addiction. In doing so, they may be able to develop a new healthy relationship and work on recovery together. If the spouse or partner is unwilling, then it may be wise to separate from them.

Partners, spouses, and family may all be sympathetic to a recovering addicts needs. However, if they have an addiction themselves, will they stop using around the recovering addict? Most will not. Just as in the case of friends, it will be nearly impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with spouses, partners, or family who also has an addiction.

If the addict has a spouse, partner, or family member that does not suffer from addiction, they will be able work on redevelop a healthy relationship. This will take a lot of time and patience, but can be done. In doing so, the recovering addict may feel a sense of relief, gratefulness, and mutual love and respect. If this happens, and can be maintained, it can be an extremely powerful and healthy relationship to help with their recovery.

For a Healthy Relationship, Everyone Must be Sober

Codependency and Enabling

The National Institute on Drug Abuse has defined codependency as individuals who have “learned to believe that love, acceptance, security, and approval are contingent upon taking care of the addict in the way the addict wishes.”

A recovering addict cannot maintain a healthy relationship with a codependent. Often times an addict will develop a codependent relationship with a spouse, partner, close family member or friend. Codependents will enable the drug addict or alcoholic to continue. An example of this is, a husband gets too drunk the night before and in the morning he is unable go to work, so his wife calls in and covers for him by saying he is sick.

A codependent person may consciously or unconsciously encourage the addict to continue to use. This is called enabling. This type of behavior may include, lying, making up excuses, and covering up for the addict. They will do this to protect the addict from any consequences.

Some codependents will enable an addict by giving them money for the drugs or alcohol. It is important for a recovering addict to separate themselves from someone like this. It can be very dangerous for them to be tempted.

If a person’s codependent is a spouse or family member, and the recovering addict wishes to maintain a relationship with them, then they should attend counseling and meetings together.

Never Enable an Addict to Continue

Developing Healthy Relationships after Rehab

A recovering addict must develop and maintain new and healthy relationships after rehab to maintain a sober life. During treatment at rehab, the counselors will have gone over ways to do this. They will have helped identify the unhealthy relationships that the addict had before. These unhealthy relationships could cause a relapse. The recovering addict must learn how to either separate themselves from these people, or if they insist on remaining close (spouse or family) they must learn how to redevelop a healthy relationship without drugs or alcohol.

Anyone who does not use drugs or drink alcohol is great for a recovering addict to be around. Group meetings, support groups, outdoor activities, classes, etc. are all places that a person can meet people. In doing so, the recovering addict will be able to develop new and healthy relationships with clean and sober people.

Healthy Relationships That Last can be Achieved

Do Not Forget to Focus on Yourself after Rehab

During recovery it is very important that the person does not forget about rebuilding a healthy relationship with their self. This means to take care of their body; keeping it healthy, by eating the right foods and exercising frequently. This can help a person to maintain happiness and keep depression at bay. If a person feels better, they will less likely have the need to go back to using. In feeling this way, they may have little or no desire to contact any friends who are still using. Before any recovering addict begins to make new healthy relationships, they must be able to maintain a healthy relationship with their mind and body.

You Are the Most Important Person